Cheeks to Cheeks

Today is the day to be appreciative of myself.

Today is the day to give myself a pat on the back for being a somewhat successful person in my 34 years (and still counting) in life.

Today is also the day I have to thank my mother for going through labor and pain 34 years ago; and forever standing by me.

Today is the day I want to thank my dad for supporting me in my decisions.

Today is the day I thank my best friend and soul partner for giving me all the love a man could ever give to a woman.

Today is the day I like my kids to know how thankful I am to be their mother and letting me experience this great journey of motherhood.

Today is the day I’m utterly grateful and thankful to have the most understanding and caring parents-in-law.

Today is the day I like my sister to know (despite stealing the limelight from me by your appearance in our family) I enjoy being your older sister and is extremely thankful that I get to experience sisterhood for the past 23 years (and still counting). I have to admit, being an only child isn’t as fun as it thinks.

Today is the day to be thankful I get to breathe in the wonderful aspect of life and enjoy the fact that my love ones are healthy.

Today I want to thank all the people, be it friends or acquintance, who made my life an interesting one and I am hoping for more colorful experiences.

Thank you for celebrating my existence and I love y’all!

On the day of Christmas eve,
I lost the chance to get to know you.
I so wanted to hold you dearly,
touch that little arm of yours,
stroke your little fuzzy haired head.
Mummy loved you so much,
yearned for you,
cried for you.
Only time can heal my heart, body and soul.
I love you my sweet babe.
Rest well and now go frolick with the angels,
who will forever protect you.

and yes, I’m still up. I should hit the sack as it will be a long day tomorrow. Heck, everyday is a long day for me. Luckily I had Belle’s lunch ready. I had whipped up some fried rice for her lunch and have it kept warm in the rice cooker. Tomorrow it will go into the thermos.

Her “new” school has a new policy: they will not be nuking the kids’ food. It is such a pain in the rear but luckily we have a thermos to keep the food warm for her. Knowing Belle, she gets bored with food easily. I have to crank the little birdie in my brain for more creative meal. Chloe got Belle some cool bento gadgets for Christmas and I guess I’ll have to start getting into the bento groove now. To tell you the truth, I’m darn lazy when comes to making food pretty. I’m the type that just whack the food and as long as it is edible it is good enough for me.

I’m in the hunt for a good pair of jeans. My best pair of jeans (for now) has been with me for about 5 years. I can tell it has gone through a decent wear and tear. The knees on the jeans are starting to fade. I’m still amaze I could fit into this pre-pregnancy jeans. Matter of fact, this pair of jeans is becoming a tad loose for me.

Have I lost weight? I certainly hope so. I have yet to weigh myself. I remember when I was a teenager, I was crazy about the numbers in the weighing scale. I would make sure I was 100 lbs and nothing more than that. Then I came to this orgasmic burger laden country. Needless to say my weight could no longer go back to 100 lbs. I think I stop weighing myself (except during those mandatory obgyn checkups) years ago.

So, with a loose pair of jeans, I’ll just assume I have lost “some” weight. Thank goodness I don’t have take any Lipovox for my weight problem. Even though the Lipovox reviews are good, I still could not bring myself to take any sort of pills for weight lost. I guess being home with my 18 lbs dumb bell (Cassie) helps me shed those post-preg weight faster than I thought. Now, if only I could get rid of those tummy flabs…

Every morning I look at myself in the morning I see a 30-something, not so hot, a bit on the chubby side, double-chin, tired me. Where has the 30-something, think she’s hot, voluptuous me went to? Argh! I really need skin and body rejuvenation. A body wrap sounds good now. Oh wait, no time for it. Well, maybe a facial therapy. I seriously need to have blackhead removal done on my nose.

So, hon, where is the spa package you’ve promised me. It’s long overdue.

I used to read quite a bit. It could be fiction or non-fiction. Then Belle came along, I realized book reading has became a luxury. Time is luxury; hence, taking time to read a book is luxury for me. So, it dwindled down to reading magazines. I was an avid Reader’s Digest reader and would catch up on my reading during the nights after Belle was asleep.

Now we have two kids, I had to cancel my Reader’s Digest magazine, and I would be lucky to find time to catch up on the Parenting magazine. Sadly, most of the readings are done during, yup, you’ve guessed it, toilet time. Lately I found another free time to read and that is during my pumping sessions.

It usually takes 2 days to finish a TIME magazine and 3 days for Parenting magazine. I find myself enriched from reading these magazines. With TIME I catch up latest world events, US economics, Arts, etc. Recently I read the article/interview on Nelson Mandela. I have a new found respect for this man and he is a very wise man indeed. If you haven’t read this article (published for July 21, 2008) you ought to borrow one from the library now.

So, yeah, this is as literal as I could be. I will probably go back to books once the kids are older. Now, would you excuse me while I go check on the real estate updates in my neighborhood? I hope it is better than Wilmington NC real estate ‘cos the property market is pretty unhealthy nationwide (as I read from TIME).

When comes to drinking from Mama Moo, Cassie cannot seem to consume two boobs in one feeding session. I usually end up breaking it up into two sessions with a 2-hour interval. If she does take two boobs, I will be able to a full 4-hour rest. At work, my pump session is about 4-5 hours apart and I have developed a habit of feeling my boobs just to make sure they are solid as a rock. Naw! I do feel my boobs constantly and the scary part is, I would do it unconsciously…in the public!

Just this morning, I started to feel my boobs while I was driving. I bet the drivers on the road must be thinking, “What the heck is this lady doing?!” Seriously, I have no shame anymore when comes to checking my boobs to see/feel whether it is full or not. LOL! Anyway, I thought it is funny to blog about it. I wonder other moms do the same?

Lately I have been catching up with friends whom I haven’t spoken to for ages. Thanks to Facebook I was able to do so. I found my best friend from Primary (Elementary) school through another elementary friend, Jason. Sue Ling and I were like peas in the pod from Primary/Standard (Grade) 1 to Standard 4. We were both the similar height, an only child (at that time I was an only child) and we sat together since year 1 till half of year 4 when she had to leave for another school. We were also in the same sports team, Kenari (Malay: Canary).

Sue and I did a lot of things together; in which I have the faintest idea on the details now. Some best friend I am, huh? Anyway, we have been writing back and forth for the past few months. Funnily, for the past 10+ years she was in Arizona while I was in Iowa and California. I always believe there is an invisible fine red string that connects a person to another. All these years and we still remember each other. Isn’t it amazing?

Sue just shared with me a wonderful news–she’s gonna be a mama again for the 3rd time! Congrats, Sue! I hope the awful morning sickness will go away soon.

Oh my gosh!

6.5-oz! Now, that’s a record high for me (at least for this 2nd time around). The secret to it is a wholesome breakfast. Daddy went grocery shopping last night and brought back this:

(And, yeah, my darling very sayang me)

I’ve notice that whenever I eat a hearty breakfast, I will produce more milk for the next session. Currently, I’m getting at least 5-oz of milk during each pump session. Never have I gone over the 5.5-oz mark (unless I’ve prolong the interval time from 4 to 5 hrs).

I will have to try this cereal again tomorrow morning to see if it does help boosting the moo juice. Will keep y’all posted.

Look back at my older posts during my breastfeeding year with Belle, I was quite obssessed at blogging about it. One true fact was I had to travel for work and I would come back with funny stories on how I had to express the milk. This time, I don’t have to travel anymore, my pumping sessions became quite mundane. I usually express the milk around 10.45 or 11am and 4pm. Two sessions and I’ll be darn lucky if I get a total of 10oz. It’s quite pathetic and I’m not sure if I’ll have enough for the girl.

From my previous experience, I barely had enough to cover Belle’s daily consumption. This time, I’m afraid I might not have enough. MIL suggested mixing formula with my milk. I’m not too happy about that ‘cos I really wanna think my milk level is enough for Cassie. Yes, I’m in denial. Anyway, we will know if Cassie is gaining weight healthily or not in two weeks. If she is, we will hold off the formula.