Angry, Upset & Disappointing
I am terribly upset today.
I am so upset that I can’t help but to cry when I called Jon to tell him that a teacher or even teachers think our child is uncontrollable. It is like a big stamp on my forehead saying I fail as a parent. This is how upset I am.
I am not upset with my child but I am so sick of hearing teachers kept telling me, “Isabelle doesn’t listen well.” “Isabelle can’t sit still.” “Isabelle isn’t writing nicely.” “You will have to revise with her on the Chinese characters just so she doesn’t feel left out or has less confidence” “I want to get on with the teaching schedule but by not knowing these simple set of characters I can’t move on.” And then they would contradict by saying, “Oh, she is still young (she is a Nov baby), give her time.” “Oh, we don’t want to push her too hard till she doesn’t like Chinese school.”
It is all BULL SHIT!
At the very beginning, before enrolling her into the Chinese after-school program, I told the teachers my child is not a Mandarin speaker at home. We were also given the impression that we will not need to do ANY revision with her during weekends because they will have ample exposure to Mandarin from Monday to Friday. They had also told us they will separate the English speakers from the Mandarin speakers just so they won’t feel “stupid” for not knowing Mandarin in the first place.
What I’m seeing now is, ALL the Kinder kids are in the same class. It is understandable that some of these kids will excel in Mandarin ‘cos they speak it at home. Majority were brought up by Mandarin speaker grandparents, hence giving them an edge in Mandarin.
I am so angry and upset beyond words. Since school started I have put in so much emphasis on getting my child up to speed with what they expect her to know. I made flash cards of the Chinese characters. Everyday I made sure we had at least 30 to 45 minutes of revision time going over those characters AND on top of that, getting her familiarize with addition.
What I’m feeling now is disappointment. It made me feel as though all those effort and energy spent were not enough for them to appreciate how far along my child has came, especially when she is only into the third week of Chinese school AND not a Mandarin speaker.
Yes, I am upset, angry and disappointed. The reason we put her in this “rigid” environment is to prepare her for the real Chinese kindergarten environment in Malaysia. We want her to get use to a Chinese environment and we thought easing her into it, especially in a US-based Chinese school, would be easier for her. Apparently not. They expect ALL kids to be typical Chinese kids where obedience is #1. What they forgot was my child is not a Mandarin speaker. Majority of the time they would speak to the children in Mandarin and give instruction in Chinese. I know it is to get the kids use to listening to Mandarin but for a non-Mandarin speaker/listener, it means shit. Of course my kid is not going to listen or obey them ‘cos she doesn’t even know what they want from her!
Pure disappointment! I’m so upset I told Jon I can’t speak to the teachers today, he will have to do it. So we will see how it goes. My tummy is growling but I have no appetite to eat anymore.
